kalliente:

Hospitals are so weird, like

on one floor a woman is bringing a new human life into the world while the father of her child looks on

and on the floor below her a frat boy is getting a wiimote removed from his butthole

craftbeerhallputsch:

specterofcommunism:

zhouenlaid:

heroque:

kingcheddarxvii:

Had a dream just now that Macklemore was named TIME magazine’s Most Muggable Musician and he showed up at an interview to accept the award and they mugged him

What’s the point of mugging someone who only has $20 in their pocket

$20 can get you many peanuts

explain how

Money can be exchanged for goods and services

captioningresource:

[Pearl: Fuse with me! 
Cecil: (voiceover) You are thirsty. Of course you are. We are all metaphorically thirsty for better things, but you are literally thirsty. 
Pearl: I can sing! 
Cecil: (voiceover) Literally thirsty for anything.] 

pomgorl:

officialjasprosesprite:

when a character you hate dies

I’m bubbie

bluscouts:

when youre stuck in your house all day

wingtalia:

Herakles getting snuggly with cats. uwu

thefaultinourheadcanons:

emeralddarkness:

ughjohnwatson:

do you ever get in those moods where you don’t feel like reading and you don’t feel like being on the internet and you don’t feel like watching a show and you don’t feel like sleeping and you don’t feel like existing in general

BUT YOU WANT TO DO SOMETHING.

It’s in words

(Source: weheartit.com)

heymissallie:

then this is natural selection at work and you probably deserved it

foodchewer:

caseyanthonyofficial:

foodchewer:

i hate repeating myself 

What?

bisexual-legislature:

bisexual-legislature:

so whenever I go out to eat I always get a box for my food and draw whatever food it is with disturbingly toned limbs and our waitress got so excited when she saw my legged macaroni that she called another waitress over to see it

do u even understand how upset I am that this got over a thousand notes I can’t trust any of you with anything

vargas-s:

this has certainly been an experience